~*The Solitary Dragon looked down at the boy kneeling before him with red cheeks. He had to pull himself inward and lock himself away to keep from gathering the braided boy into his arms. So he relied on his mask to help him escape once more.*~
{One thing I don’t know why,
Doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time}
The dawn found Duo already awake. He was curled up in a ball in the corner of the room, a dead look in his amethyst eyes and a piece of paper crumpled in his hand. He was rocking back and forth when Quatre found him.
“Duo?” Quatre could taste the sorrow and pain radiating from the braided American. He crouched beside him. “Duo, what’s wrong?” But Duo wasn’t listening to him.
{All I know}
~*Wufei could tell Quatre was relying on his inner self to support him when he told Wufei they couldn’t continue their little ‘affair’. His feelings for another were growing steadily and he knew Wufei’s heart was no longer his, he was saying. Now all they had to do was wait. There’d be time for explanations later.*~
{Time is a valuable thing
watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away}
‘Why, Wu? Why?” Duo’s perceptions of the world were all drawn inside. So was the rest of him. He knew he was worrying Quatre, but really didn’t care. He was living in his own shadow. It was unreal.
{It’s so unreal}
~*Wufei walked through the fog, trying to locate the sound. It was both muffled and echoed by the thickness of the blanket of fog, causing it to have an unreal quality. He would have thought he was dreaming but for the fact his ankle hurt. Soon, he stumbled upon the source. It was Duo. And he was crying.*~
{Didn’t look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on but didn’t even know
Wasted it all just to
Watch you go}
‘I had no idea, Wufei. No clue. I was so afraid, too. And I let the fear take control.’ Duo thought to himself as he rocked slowly in Quatre’s arms. ‘My fear of loving you. Of losing you. God, I’m stupid! So afraid to spend time with you, afraid you’d be just like Heero. If only I had known….’
{I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried}
~*Holding Duo in his arms was the most wonderful feeling Wufei had ever experienced. But, try as he might, he still kept himself from telling the boy he loved everything that was all locked away inside. He knew he should let it all go, and he tried to, but…*~
{I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter.
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter.
One thing I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how}
Duo kept remembering. Every little detail would come back to him. Quatre had gone for a bit. He couldn’t even recall what the young Arab had told him, but he didn’t really care. He was trying not to think. Trying not to hurt.
{I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you’ve fought with me
I’m surprised it got so far}
~*Wufei was doing everything in his power to push Duo away. The boy was getting too close to the fragile parts of him that made up his heart. Mocked him. Fought with him. Pretended he was property. And yet the boy kept coming back. Wufei couldn’t figure out why. Still didn’t know why. So he wrote a small note and packed his belongings.*~
{Things aren’t the way they were before
You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end}
Duo rocked slowly, having not moved from the corner in his room. His eyes no longer held life. This was much worse than when Heero had left him for Zechs. That had hurt, but somehow, Duo had expected it. And the fact that Duo hadn’t been head over heels for Heero had a small something to do with it. Not like a certain Chinese pilot who had Duo’s very life in his hands without even trying.
{You kept everything inside and even though I tried it all felt apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
And lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter}
~Wufei’s feet were leading him through familiar territory. He was hoping no one would be there. Then he could leave one last letter for Duo and leave, without confronting anyone. Perhaps he would just take his life after this. Then he’d never have to hurt Duo again.~
{I put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There’s only one thing you should know}
Duo was trusting Wufei to come back. That thought was the only thing that enabled him to move from his room into the living room, though his eyes were still lifeless and his cheeks still tear-stained. Duo’s trust was difficult to earn, especially after Heero, but Wufei had done so with ease. And had captured Duo’s heart in the process.
Duo could now admit that he loved Wufei. And he was ready to tell the world, if it would bring the Chinese pilot back to him. He was pushing himself to the very limits of himself, and all for Wufei.
{I put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There’s only one thing you should know}
Wufei was pushing himself to do this. He was starting to hope that maybe, just maybe, Duo would be home. He had thought about it some more and decided that he loved and trusted that braided boy more than enough to drop all his masks for him. He wanted to tell Duo that he loved him.
He was going to tell him.
{I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
And lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter}
Duo was sitting curled up on the couch in the living room, his eyes unfocused but locked on the door. He thought he heard a key, but he was so far gone, he couldn’t be sure. He noticed the doorknob turning slowly, but disregarded it as his imagination. The door slowly opened and Wufei stood in the doorway, his onyx eyes growing wide.
Duo just stared back at him. He couldn’t believe his eyes. Wufei was standing in the doorway. Wait. No. Wufei was kneeling before him, pushing his knees down and pulling him close. This wasn’t his imagination.
~Wufei opened the door slowly and was amazed that Duo was curled up on the couch, staring at him. The young boy’s beautiful amethyst eyes looked dead. In a heartbeat, Wufei was kneeling before his love, pushing his knees out of the way and pulling him into his embrace. Never again would he leave this boy.
“I love you, Duo. I’ll never leave you again. I'm sorry I ever did in the first place. I promise, I won't run again.”~
Duo heard the words and tears started down his face again. But these were tears of joy. “I love you, too, Wufei. I’m sorry I never told you. I’m sorry. I love you.”
